❝Hd-720p❞ My Spy Movie Stream







  1. Coauthor Billy Pilgrim
  2. Resume: I drank what? (Socrates)


  • Jon Hoeber
  • Info My Spy is a movie starring Dave Bautista, Kristen Schaal, and Parisa Fitz-Henley. A hardened CIA operative finds himself at the mercy of a precocious 9-year-old girl, having been sent undercover to surveil her family
  • Genre Action
  • liked it 244 vote
  • Country USA

All 3 in red.
This is a true story. I know that’s cliché to say. In this day and age, claiming something incredible happened without video proof is a surefire way to make certain people won’t believe you. Everyone does it, though, especially in the realm of the scary and the supernatural. Movies like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Strangers are supposedly, “based on true stories. ” But when you take a look at the events inspiring them, you’ll find an excessive amount of artistic license has gone into the end product. The result, many times, is that the tale told becomes hardly recognizable from its source material. I guess the writers and directors figure reality isn’t scary enough. The story I’m about to relate happened, though, just the way I’m telling it, no embellishment needed. I wouldn’t lie about that because… Well, you’ll see. I grew up in a different world than today. The internet wasn’t commercialized yet, phones were still attached to the wall, and kids played outside on afternoons and weekends. The information age is marvelous, an incredible amount of knowledge available instantaneously at our fingertips. Questions that in my youth would have taken days of research at the library to answer are satisfied in moments with a quick Google search. The issue, I’ve found, is having access to such a font of knowledge has made us lazy. We assume, incorrectly, that we can find anything online. If there’s nothing there, if the search results come up empty, it must either be unimportant or simply not exist. That’s not true. Some things, some very real, very important things, have avoided making the digital leap. Things like Ol’ Mother Cleaver. My mom and I moved to a new town a couple weeks after my thirteenth birthday. My dad was in the army and eventually mom got tired of pulling up her life and starting over every couple of years. My parents decided to try a “trial separation” and jointly concluded I’d go with mom since dad’s lifestyle wouldn’t be ideal for raising a kid by himself. I didn’t get to have much of an opinion in the matter, so that was that. My mom wanted to live somewhere we could “put down roots. ” She said she was looking for a place that embodied pure Americana: small town living but close enough to a big city that you could catch a flight if the itch to travel caught you. And that’s where we ended up, a little town in Pennsylvania not far from Pittsburgh. I’m not going to say exactly where because, well, then I’d consider myself responsible for anything that might happen to anyone looking to corroborate my story. Just think of “It’s a Wonderful Life” and that will give you a pretty good idea. It was summer when we arrived, a particularly hot one, and I remember flies the size of gumballs flitting through air that seemed hazy because of the heat. Mom got a job as a secretary for the judge at the town courthouse. She worked long hours and, since I wouldn’t be starting school until the end of August, I was left to my own devices from pretty much sunup to sundown. The little two-bedroom duplex she could afford on her salary, even supplemented with monthly checks from my dad, was cozy but didn’t have air conditioning, minus a few ceiling fans that didn’t do much to cool you off. Accordingly, I spent most of my days wandering around town to take my mind off the heat. That was how I came to meet Tom and Terry, siblings who for that summer became my best friends in the whole world. They were Irish twins, Terry being my age and Tom slightly older. Tom was gregarious and energetic, Terry more reserved and bookish, but despite their differences they shared curly brown hair, emerald green eyes, and a tight-knit bond. Even though we were on a pretty meager budget, my mom gave me a couple dollars a week in allowance that I would generally blow at the old-fashioned soda shop downtown. I first ran into the brothers at the store’s comic rack and we bonded over the latest issue of “Uncanny X-Men” and chocolate milkshakes. Eventually we realized we only lived a couple blocks apart from each other. From that first meeting on, we were nigh inseparable. Tom and Terry were in a similar situation to me; their mom had died a couple years earlier and their dad worked the night shift at the paper mill just outside town. Most mornings I’d take my old ten-speed over to their house where we’d meet up and head out for the day. The two of them had lived there since they’d been born, so they were able to show me all the interesting things there were for kids to do in town and throughout the surrounding area. If nothing out of the ordinary had happened that summer, I’d still remember it as clearly as I do now from all the memories I built with Terry and Tom. Every day was an adventure: bike races down Breackneck Hill, cannonballs in the swimming hole out in the east woods, catching fireflies in the twilight gloom, and many others. Looking back now, I recognize the first part of that summer composed the framework to a kind of youthful Eden. Occasionally we would have sleepovers. The brothers’ house stood on the edge of their neighborhood and they had a large backyard bordered by thick, leafy woods. The oppressive heat thankfully gave a reprieve most days after the sun went down, so some nights we’d build a bonfire and pile sleeping bags into the tent Tom still had from six months in the boy scouts. It was on one of those evenings about two months after I’d moved to town, toasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories, that I was introduced to the legend of Ol’ Mother Cleaver. “You don’t know about Mum Cleaver? ” Tom asked with a grin, firelight reflecting off his teeth. I shook my head, “What, is she some kind of urban legend? Like “The Hook” or “Bloody Mary” or something? ” “Or something, ” Terry murmured. Tom laughed, “Nah, nothing like those little-kiddy stories. The Cleaves is real. ” “That’s what most urban legends want you to believe. If she’s so real, how come I’ve never heard of her? ” Tom shrugged, “Probably because she’s local. But she’s definitely real. Our dad told us the story about her one time when he got super drunk. A long time ago, there was this lady that lived in a little house out in the woods with her son. Everyone in town knew she was supposed to be a witch, but because they would go to her for love potions and to help deliver babies, they pretty much just ignored it. ” “Really? A witch? ” “Shut up, that’s what my dad said. Anyway, the mayor’s wife was having a baby, but she died giving birth. The mayor said it must have been something the witch did and got everyone in town all worked up. A bunch of people went out to her house and burned it down. ” I rolled my eyes and speared another marshmallow. “And now the witch’s ghost haunts the town right? ” “No, Mr. Smarty-pants. The witch wasn’t home. My dad figures she must have been pretty upset about the mayor’s wife and was wandering in the woods when the crowd got there. The only one in the house was her son. ” “And he…” Tom nodded somberly, “My dad said the witch promised she’d have justice for her son’s murder. But since the one mostly responsible was the mayor, she didn’t trust the courts would find him guilty. So, she took the cleaver she used to cut up the ingredients for her potions and went into town. She used a spell to find out who had burned her house and, night by night, snuck into their rooms and hid under their beds. While they were sleeping, she snuck out and used her magic to make her voice sound like their mothers. She confronted them with what they did, then listened to what they said while they were only half awake. If they were honest and admitted to the killing, she gave them a kiss on the forehead and left. But if they lied, she took her cleaver and chopped off their heads. ” I rolled my eyes. “That’s pretty unbelievable. They didn’t realize it was the witch killing people? Why didn’t they get another crowd together and burn her at the stake? Why did the witch give them a chance to confess instead of just killing all of them? ” Tom shrugged again, “Look that’s just what my dad told us. Anyway, the rest of the story is once she visited all her son’s killers she disappeared. But, every once in a while, there will be a strange death around town and people will say Ol’ Mother Cleaver must have caught them in a lie. ” Terry spoke up, “Parents around here say if you’re bad and don’t listen then Ol’ Mum will get you. Everyone around here knows about her, mostly because of the rhyme. ” “Rhyme? Like Freddy Krueger? ” “Sort of. I haven’t said it in forever. ” Terry shut his eyes in concentration, trying to remember the words. Then he began to chant in a slow, sing-song voice. Ol’ Mother Cleaver You willn’t see her Hiding beneath your bed. While you are sleeping She will be sneaking Out to cut off your head. Grinning, Tom joined in. Bad lil’ boys and girls Who’re wicked to the world Best say their prayers at night. Cause those who steal and lie Will have a big surprise When they turn off the light. Their voices picked up in tempo. If Mother asks you, You had best be true Answering from your bed Else she will take her Big, shiny cleaver. One chop and you’ll be dead! Abruptly, the rhyme ended, the brothers fell quiet, and for several moments the only sound was the snapping of the logs on the fire. I cleared my throat, breaking the silence. “Well. That’s definitely creepy. But I still don’t believe it. ” “You don’t have to, ” Tom laughed, “Because if you lie the Cleaves will chop off your head either way! ” “No way! ” I shouted, “because if she tried, I’d give her one of these! ” I jumped up and tackled him. We rolled around in the grass, laughing uproariously. “Uh oh, Sammy-boy! Fighting’s against the rules! Ol’ Mum’s gonna get her cleaver! ” He got the better of me and pinned me down. “Well, ” Terry said thoughtfully from where he sat, undisturbed by the ruckus, “we could take him to the house. ” In an instant, all levity drained from Tom and he stood, facing his brother. “You serious? Last time we agreed there was no way we would ever go back there! ” Terry shrugged, “I know. But we wouldn’t have to go inside. Just show him where it is. ” “Wait, ” I sat up, “I thought the witch’s house burned down. ” “It did, ” Terry nodded, “But there’s still a few walls standing where it was. You’d at least know we were telling the truth about that. ” “No way, Terry, ” Tom shook his head furiously, “No way. ” It was the fact that the older, take-charge Tom was so obviously terrified that made up my mind. “All right. I’m in. When are we going? Now? ” “You’re crazy, ” Tom whispered. Terry shook his head, “We’d never find it in the dark. And even if we could you wouldn’t be able to see anything. We’ll go tomorrow. ” “Crazy, ” Tom whispered again. “All right, ” I said, “Can’t wait. ” With that, it was obvious that the night’s fun had come to an end. I doused the fire, and we all got into our sleeping bags. Before long I could hear Terry gently snoring from across the tent, but I’m pretty sure Tom was still awake when I finally nodded off. The next morning, we packed up the camping equipment. Tom was quiet and sullen, but Terry and I agreed that, after I went home for breakfast and to change, I would meet the brothers back at their house. When I unlocked the front door of the duplex and pushed inside, I was surprised to find my mom sitting at the kitchen table on the phone. “Mom, is everything ok? Why aren’t you at work? ” She smiled at me but seemed a little shaky. “Everything’s fine, honey. I called your dad about some things and we got to talking so I’m going in a little late today. Did you have fun with the boys’? ” I frowned. “Yeah. I’m meeting them again in a little bit. Just home to change. ” “Ok, hun. Sounds good. I’ll tell Dad you said hi. ” “Ok. ” I walked down the hall to my room but kept the door cracked so I could try to listen to my mom’s conversation. I couldn’t hear much, but I could tell from her tone that she was agitated. After a couple seconds I decided it was none of my business and shut the door. I got dressed and headed back through the kitchen. “Bye, Mom. Love you. Tell dad I love him too. ” “Ok, honey, ” she nodded absently, “have a good day. ” “You too. ” I picked my bike up from the lawn and headed to meet the brothers, my mom’s conversation rolling around in my head. Terry met me outside. “Ready to go? You’ll want to leave your bike here. You’d have to walk it most of the way through the woods. ” He frowned looking at my face, “Everything ok? ” “Huh? Oh yeah. It was just weird. My mom was late to work and seemed upset. She was talking to my dad oh the phone though so probably not anything I can do about. ” I craned my neck to look behind him into the house, “Where’s Tom? ” “He’s still steamed that we’re going to the witch’s house. ” “Really? How come? ” Terry shrugged, “We had a bad experience last time we went there. ” I looked at him, waiting for more, “Aaaaand…? ” “And you’re both crazy for wanting to go to that house. ” Tom pushed his way through the screen door onto the stoop, “But there’s no way I’m letting you go alone. ” Terry smiled tightly, “Come on, Sam. ” He walked around to the back yard and into the adjoining woods. We stepped onto an overgrown trail and followed it for a hundred yards or so before it faded completely and we were left walking through what was, as near as I could tell, completely unmarked forest. I followed Terry closely, Tom lagging behind us. The question still burning in my mind, after ten minutes of walking through the trees I asked again. “Seriously, why is he so worked up? ” “Well, ” Terry turned to make sure Tom wasn’t close enough to hear then lowered his voice, “The truth is, we think the Cleaves killed our mom. ” “What? That’s crazy! ” Terry pushed a low hanging branch out of his path, “Yeah. I know we told you she died a couple years ago. It happened suddenly, the day after the last time we went to the witch’s house. The next morning when my dad came home from work, he found her dead in their room. ” He paused to take a long step across a shallow creek. “Not long after we found out she’d been cheating on him. One of our neighbors was found dead in his bed too. Both of their heads were chopped off. ” I stumbled in surprise, my foot getting soaked in the creek up to the ankle. “You have to be messing with me. You’re kidding right? ” “No. It’s true. You can ask other people about it. ” “But the cops must have thought your dad did it? ” Terry nodded, “Of course. But his manager and all the other guys at the mill swore that he’d been there all night. And the doctor put the time of both deaths right in the middle of Dad’s shift. ” I glanced back at Tom. “No way. You’re pulling my leg. Tom was joking about the whole Mum Cleaver thing last night before you suggested going to the house. ” Terry shrugged, “That’s just how he handles things. Laughs it off so he doesn’t have to think too hard about it. ” “What about you? If you really believe Ol’ Mother Cleaver killed your mom, how come you’re so ready to go traipsing around her house? ” Terry’s normally kind eyes grew hard. “My mom wasn’t perfect. But that doesn’t mean she deserved to have her head chopped off. I need to see if the Cleaves is really real. If she is, she owes me. Tom and my dad too. ” I shook my head in wonder. “Why’d you wait two years to go back then? ” “Because I’m scared as hell, ” Terry grinned, “And I figured Tom wouldn’t let me go without him, especially if you were going. ” I stopped talking for a few minutes, just processing everything Terry had laid on me. One final question nagged me. “Ok. Assuming your dad didn’t do it, that still doesn’t explain why you think Ol’ Mother Cleaver killed your mom. Maybe it was just some escaped maniac or something. That would be a stretch but a lot more believable than some ancient witch hiding under the bed. ” Terry nodded. “The last time Tom and I went to the house I took…something. That night, the night she died, my mom woke me up and asked me about it. At least, I thought it was her. I told the truth, said I was sorry. She kissed me on the forehead and left. ” I shivered, “Just like…” “Yeah. Thing is, we didn’t know this was her house. We really didn’t know anything about Ol’ Mother Cleaver then, just the rhyme. Most people don’t. It wasn’t until later my dad told us the whole story. That’s when we realized what must have happened. ” “And he knows the story because? ” “His great-great-grandmother was the mayor’s wife who died. ” “No way. ” “Just what my dad told us. We’re almost there. ” We walked maybe another fifty yards before Terry pushed through a thick screen of brush. Before us the burned out remains of an old, wooden house stood in a clearing. Only two of the exterior walls were still erect and the roof was collapsed, the bare interior of the house totally exposed to the elements. The two of us stopped, just looking. “Well here it is, ” Tom said coming up behind us, “Do you believe us now, Sam? Can we get the heck out of here, please? ” Seeing the remains of the house, its blackened timbers twisting this way and that like broken fingers, I felt an involuntary shiver creep down my spine. “Works for me, ” I said, “I sure hope you guys know how to find your way back. ” “In a minute, ” Terry said before abruptly jogging forward and ducking behind one of the still standing walls of the house. “Terry! ” Tom shouted. He took a step to follow, then stopped, hands clenched at his sides, frustration visible on his face. “What are you doing? ” I called after Terry. I followed him, but rounding the wall my mouth dropped open, dumbfounded. “Wha…where did he go? ” With visible effort Tom came to stand beside me. “There’s a hole over there. You can’t really see but it leads down to the cellar. Come on. ” “You sure? ” I asked, “Terry told me about…uh, your mom. ” He sighed. “I figured. And no, I’m not, but somebody’s got to make sure that idiot doesn’t hurt himself. There’s no light down there. ” Sure enough, not twenty feet from where I stood lay an open hole with a shaky looking ladder leading down it, blocked from sight by some of the fallen roof. “Terry went down there? ” “Yeah. ” “What is he doing? ” “Being an idiot. ” Tom shook his head. “We found this place a few years ago, didn’t have any idea what it was. We came a bunch of times, but it was only our last trip we found the cellar. We poked around and found, of all things, an old, rotted skeleton. Terry took one of the finger bones as a souvenir…” “And that’s why you think Ol’ Mother Cleaver visited you that night. To get the finger back. But why did she kill your mom? ” Tom shrugged, “Dunno. Maybe since we disturbed her she decided to go back to her old tricks. But the finger was gone the next morning. Come on, I’ll go first. ” He took a breath to settle his nerves then descended the ladder. “You’re good, ” he called back up, “Careful, some of the rungs are a little slippery. ” I cautiously made my way down to the cellar beside Tom and found the light coming from the hole above did little to illuminate the space. “Here, ” Tom said, “Put your hand on my shoulder so we don’t lose each other. I think I can remember how to get to where we found the skeleton. ” I grabbed his shirt and we stepped into the blackness which, within only a few steps, became absolute. It didn’t take long, maybe only thirty seconds or so, but the time seemed to stretch on for an eternity as Tom carefully felt his way along the earthen wall and I clutched his shoulder. We took one turn, then another, before the light of a small flashlight showed where Terry was stooped over, kneeling on the ground. “You butthole! ” Tom called, striding up to his brother and roughly jerking him to his feet, the flashlight falling out of Terry’s hands, “What the heck are you doing? ” I stepped closer but stayed out of the brothers’ way. The flashlight beam rested on a pile of ancient yellow bones. “Get off me! ” Terry shoved Tom’s hand away. “You know what I’m doing! ” “Yeah, steal another bone and the Cleaves will come take it right? Then what? ” Terry was practically crying. “Then I’ll make her tell me why she killed mom! ” “How’s that going to work, idiot? You’re gonna be asleep when she comes! What if you mess up and lie to her, huh? What then? She’ll chop your head off too! ” Tears were welling from Tom’s eyes now as well. “Then you do it, dipshit! ” “I’m not that crazy! ” “No, you’re just a fucking coward! ” “I’ll do it, ” I said softly. “What? ” The brothers stopped, turning to me in unison. In their defense, both tried to talk me out of it. But I was resolved. Part of it was that I still wasn’t completely sure this wasn’t just some enormously elaborate prank that the brothers had decided to pull on me. Partly I wanted to see if the legend was true. But the main reason I ill-advisedly took a small finger bone from the witch’s burned-out cellar was I wanted to help my new friends. Walking back to their house we came up with our plan. We discussed if it made more sense for me to stay with them that night but decided I’d have to stay in my room to make sure Ol’ Mother Cleaver would come. Tom and Terry had never heard of anyone being killed in a bed other than their own, and if there was going to be a confrontation, we wanted it to be when we were ready for it. We decided that after their dad left for work that night the boys would come over and hide in my yard. We spent a lot of time discussing if we should rig some kind of booby traps, but ultimately ruled against anything that might make the Cleaves decide to wait and come another night. Tom had a heavy practice bat he would bring, and Terry was a deadeye with his wrist slingshot. I’d go to bed around eleven, same as always, the bone resting on my nightstand. After that, we would simply see what happened. I had always been honest growing up, my dad had been sure to instill that in me, but I was still a little nervous how I would respond half asleep. The rest of the day was a blur. Finally, it was time to go home. I ate dinner with my mom after she finally got home from work, and if she noticed I was unusually quiet she didn’t say anything. It seemed like she had a lot on her mind too. I sat next to her on the couch and watched tv for a while, though I wasn’t really paying attention, until at last the wall clock said it was about time for bed. I stooped over to give her a hug and, abruptly, felt tears spring to my eyes as I realized this could be the last time I saw her. What the hell had I been thinking earlier? Why had I agreed to do this? The bone, suddenly extremely heavy in my pocket, reminded me it was too late to back out now. Ol’ Mother Cleaver, if she was real, would be coming either way. “I love you, mom, ” I said softly. “I love you too, baby” she smiled, “Sleep tight. ” I went to my room to change, brushed my teeth, and put the bone on the nightstand. I eyed the dark space beneath the bed, forcibly willing myself not to look. Was the Cleaves already there, waiting for me to go to sleep? I moved to the open window and saw a light flash twice; the signal Tom and Terry were in position. Now all we needed was for me to fall asleep. I don’t know how long I lay there in my bed that night. I’d been worried that with the fear and excitement I wouldn’t be able to nod off, but next thing I knew I was startled awake when a heavy weight settled next to me on my mattress. “Shh, it’s ok, honey, it’s ok, ” my mom shushed, “I just wanted to check on you. Sorry I was distracted tonight. You ok? You seemed a little off at dinner. ” My heart leapt into my throat before I confirmed that it was, in fact, my mother. It was dark in my room, but there was enough light streaming through the window from the moon that I could tell it was her, certainly not an enraged witch readying to chop my head off. “I’m ok, Mom. You seemed weird too. Is it something with dad? ” She shook her head, “No. No that’s…we’re fine. We still don’t know what we’re going to do permanently. But it’s work that’s distracting me. Nothing you can help with honey. Go back to sleep. Sorry to disturb you. ” She gently stroked my hair. “S’ok, mom. ” She sat there for several long minutes, softly caressing my head. My breathing slowed, and it wasn’t until I was again on the verge of sleep that she finally stood up to leave. “Sam? ” her voice sounded far away, “What’s this on your nightstand? ” “Sorry, Mom, ” I breathed, “It’s to help Tom and Terry. ” She bent over and kissed my forehead. “That’s my good boy. ” It was a long beat before my brain processed what had just happened. My eyes snapped open and I shot up in bed, a pulse of fear coursing through me. I was alone in the room. I rushed to the window but, other than two flashes of light confirming the brothers were still outside waiting, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The rest of the house was dark and quiet, and I carefully confirmed that my mother was asleep in her bed. Maybe it had been a dream brought on by an overactive imagination. Maybe. I didn’t sleep the rest of the night. The next morning, I checked with Tom and Terry. They’d taken shifts to ensure one would always be awake, but neither had spied anything strange. I relayed what had happened and they were dumbfounded as I was. Little did I know that would be one of the very last times I’d see the brothers. While I was outside talking to them, my mom got another phone call. I learned later that the judge she worked for at the courthouse had been taking bribes. My mom had found out and had been trying to figure out what to do about it. Ultimately, she didn’t have to decide because the judge was found murdered. Rumor was his head had been chopped off. We moved from town shortly after that. My parents ended up getting divorced, but I got to see my dad regularly and they both seemed happier for it, so that was ok. I stayed in touch with Tom and Terry through mail for a while but eventually we fell out of contact. With the internet and social media today, I’ve thought many times about trying to track them down, but I haven’t. I don’t know if they ever managed to confront Ol’ Mum. Frankly, I’m scared to find out if they did. The world I grew up in was different, more isolated. If a judge mysteriously had his head cut off today, it would be making headlines the world over. But that was then. I don’t much care if you believe me because I know it is in my gut. I know because, ever since that night, I’ve made it a point to be utterly truthful in everything I’ve said and done, lying to no one, including myself. Because I’ve still got the finger bone. Why she took Tom and Terry’s all those years ago and left mine I can’t fathom. But if the night comes that Ol’ Mother Cleaver sneaks out from under my bed and asks me about my sins, ready to deliver her unique brand of justice, I want to be sure I answer honestly.
My Spy Movie stream of consciousness.

This trailer got me laughing so hard. *gasp “BLUBERRY!”. My Spy Movie. 6:39 Is that the same guy who played Damien Dark in Arrow. Dave Batista does a bit of an Arnie in this film about a CIA agent and a precocious 9 year old girl he is surveilling. Good solid family fun with a few laughs and charming performances. 3 Stars
George: although it was a kids movie I enjoyed it and it was so far fetched I enjoyed it all the more. If a CIA agent is like this heaven help us! 3.5 Stars. My Spy (2020) in my opinion is a seemingly comedy/family/kiddie movie unfortunately it is none of the above. The film includes vulgar language used bot both the child and adult actors. I could hardly believe that the actor David Bautisa had accepted such a corny weak comedic role. I could not relate to the vulgar language. What is the message? That its coold for kids to behave like grownups.

JJ, I admire all of your tattoos blink Damn shes good. My Spy Movie streaming sur internet. Red Sparrow, Atomic Blonde, Salt, etc. A lot of these strong women my.

My Spy Movie stream.nbcolympics

Great film for the family (with older children) to see. Love the connection between JJ and Sophie - funny, entertaining and some good action scenes. 8:05 has me hella deaddddd XD. PG-13 2009 91 mins Action and Adventure, Comedy Starring: Maria Farida AC Mizal Afdlin Shauki Harun Salim Bachik Carmen Soo Ridzuan Hashim Adlin Aman Ramlie Wildman AJ (AC Mizal) is colour blind. Salleh (Harun Salim Bachik) is a retired cop who tries to sell his invention to the police. The two hate each other but these two private detectives must join forces to solve their biggest cases, involving a corrupt man (Datuk ‘O’ Osman), a sexy secretary (Hannah Tan) and an art collection theft syndicate. You may also like Ang Titser Kong Pogi Black Maria Hit & Run Mendam Berahi MTAS - PUBG Logic | Parody Haq.

I'm gonna start this by saying, I honestly really don't give a hoot if any tech oriented people get upset or offended at me for this particular opinion. If you really get that upset over somebody not being into or embracing the newest things, then that's your gripe, not mine. I've dealt with enough of them over the years and gotten crap from them for it, and I'm finally sick of apologizing for having an opinion that conflicts with theirs. So deal with it. Now that that's said, as the title above states, I don't care for, need, and definitely don't want pretty much any 21st century technology. I have my reasons, which I'll outline in a moment. But, let me clarify, I'm not against all new things. I'm looking forward to medical advancements, the eventual implementation of sciences in testing phases now that will allow humans to live hundreds of years and look young while they do. This has more to do with tech that is used by most people on a day to day basis. I'll give you a few examples. I've never owned a flat screen or Smart TV in my entire life. I've only had CRT TVs. I've never had things like Netflix or Hulu, I stick with VHS tapes and DVDs. I don't use tech apps like Uber or Postmates, I'll call a traditional taxi and go purchase my own food and products from stores. I don't use navigation systems in cars, or own one that has them, I use paper maps. Now, why, you might ask? Well, I'll give and then outline three big reasons. The first is privacy, and the easiest one to understand. In so many modern 21st century technology and products, almost everything has a camera and a microphone jammed into them. TVs, computers, phones, game systems, smart watches, heck, smart refrigerators, to say nothing about things like Amazon Alexas. Now, I'm not sure about you, but there was something like that in a book I read when I was younger, and you probably read it as well. George Orwell's 1984. A dystopian future where everyone is constantly spied on and eavesdropped, and they just let it happen. Why? Because they were all too happy to trade away their privacy and right to it for convenience sake. It's not the whole point of the book, but relevant to this. And some people may say, "You're not important enough to have anyone what to spy on you". To which I say, that's not the point. It's a principle. Even some of the U. S. founding fathers had some views that corroborate here, with quotes made about trading freedom for safety deserving neither of them. And I will not become just another cog in that machine of following the herd mentality of getting them because they're new and advanced and furthering the cycle. I don't particularly want forty different items in my home that can watch and listen to me at anytime someone feels like it, or is hacked by somebody. And neither in my car, which is why you can go and buy all your new 2020 models. I'll stick with a 79 Mustang or a Mercury Marquis station wagon from 1977. Not to mention I can fix and replace everything in them myself, over being forced to take them to dealerships because they made it impossible to work on with all the tech crammed into them. And I also don't feel like giving online streaming services all my info to their assurances that "nobody will get your info". Yeah, sure. Anyone remember the huge Playstation Network hacks a fewyears back? Really assuring. The second, to be honest, I'm not sure if there's a word for, but I'll explain it to help, and it goes along with what I just said about fixing my own cars. I was raised with a mentality of, "If it's not broken, don't throw it away, and if it is, fix it". To that end, that is what I've done my entire life. If a television of mine breaks, I take it apart and order the New components needed, or if possible, just solder certain areas back up. Same with music players like my Walkman or CD player. I'm not somebody who likes to be wasteful. And to be honest, I find it completely ridiculous that the second a new model of anything comes out with a single new feature, everyone rushes to throw away or sell their old version for the New one. Even if it costs an arm and a leg. I'm not really one against consumerism, but when it's as amplified as it has gotten, especially in the digital age, I draw the line. It makes it worse that a lot of new objects in tech have Planned obsolescence built into them. Phones that will be slowed down or crashed when new models come out, updates for newer laptops meant to take away memory, and cars with all digital everything which you won't be able to get parts for in ten to twenty years because the components needed are no longer made because they were deemed obsolete in wave of newer ones. Yeah, good luck with that. The third and final is just a flat out honest admission. I don't need it. I don't need a 4k television set that lets me see every zit on an actor's face, or a blue ray player that does the same. I don't need a car that can tell me where Timbuktu is while massaging my butt and driving itself (I like driving myself, anyways). I don't need somebody else to go get my shopping while I sit my lazy butt home watching movies on a streaming service that, at any moment, could rip them off and leave me unable to watch them again. I don't need a fridge that can tell me what temperature it is or remind me to go get milk. I can do that myself. I don't need any of it, and frankly, I don't want any of it. I like being as disconnected as possible from the digital world. And yet, tech crazed people will constantly, when they find this out, get super ticked off and offended, as if the mere existence of one person who isn't into this stuff has ruined their entire day. They'll constantly accuse me of having something mentally wrong to not want all this stuff. To which I say: too bad. This is who I am. Don't like it? Deal with it. Rant over.

My Spy Movie streams.

1:27 “And theres your head”. This looks great. [Updated repost] So, I've done a mega review post, but about time for my mega "getting started" thread. First off, I wanna just get out of the way that there are as many approaches to doing "smart home" as there are people doing it... So I welcome comments! The idea is to create a single post/thread I (or, for that matter, anyone else) can just link for people asking the basic question of "where do I start", and... I started where I started, not where everyone else started:-) [ What do you want **? **] My first suggestion to all those starting out or barely in.... At a minimum, consider EVERYTHING you might want to do. Let your imagination run wild. If you can think it, there's a good chance someone else has done it. I think the biggest and most common mistake people make when starting out - and it's true for me as well - is a lack of imagination. There's nothing wrong starting out with "I just want to do X" (especially if you mean it) but it's also a good way to get boxed in. I recommend everyone, including automation veterans, write out all your dream projects and goals... actually write them down. Write out what and how many devices (lights, sensors, etc. ) it will take. Then, put in ball park prices. If you're really just starting out, you might need to pencil in just wild guesses. That's fine. Doesn't need to be exact, and prices change (and can vary wildly by brand/model). The idea is to just have a rough estimate of what's feasible and what isn't... What's worth it and what isn't... What to do sooner and what to put off. [ What do you already have? ] If you're serious about home automation... Make a detailed floor plan of your house. Actually, if you seriously own a house or are a long-term occupant of a residence -- make a floor plan. Mark where everything is at... Standard switches and lights, normal sockets, smart devices, and sensors. Also, mark out which circuit breaker they're all on (may not help with your home automation, but it's still very handy to have). This doesn't need to be day-one, but despite being a lot of work, it will be very useful in many ways. And worst case scenario, you'll add value to your house. (I use Sweet Home 3D - free, pretty powerful, and pretty easy. ) Obviously, what you already have for automation devices should be taken into account in any smart home plan. However, in general don't let that influence you too much. Home automation is constantly evolving, so be willing to occasionally rethink your approach. If you do switch to a different platform/protocol/etc, do it slowly. Don't try to transition everything at once. [ What can you do? ] See below for a quick list of the most common device types. Following that is a list of automation ideas. Use these to assist in making the list, and I will try to edit it to be fairly comprehensive, but please imagine the possibilities. Come up with your own dream list! (Then share it. ) But before I give those, there's a two things you need to decide early on. Honestly, I'm split on which is more important. They may very well be equally important. [Pause for dramatic cliff-hanger.... ] [ How are you going to control everything? ] The first is the "automation controller". You've heard of Google Home and Alexa - maybe even IFTTT - and you're wondering if you really need a separate controller. Or maybe you've been under the impression Home and Alexa were the Alpha and Omega of smart homes. If you're going to do more than couple of simple things... you're going to want a controller. It's just that simple. There's quite a few out there, from those that barely qualify as an automation controller (like Google Home), to easy to use but limited SmartThings, to DIY systems like HomeAssistant. Personally, I use a Hubitat Elevation, and I love it. But... which is best depends in large part on end goals and user preference (and mon-ay! ). Few people have used all of the major ones, so take all suggestions - including mine - with a grain of salt, unless they can directly compare and contrast from experience. So, you're on your own. For what it's worth, my quick-pick short list would be either Hubitat or Home Assistant, but it really does depend on your tech level, budget, goals, and other preferences. Note: Especially if you're wracked by indecision, SmartThings is pretty good and affordable way to get your feet wet, but they've said they're going to discontinue it any day now soon some day maybe (it's been four years since I got the email saying it is happening). Note: I used to suggest SmartThings (Classic) as a good system for a mildly serious beginner, but IMO the new version is all but useless. [ How are you going to control everything?? ] The second major decision is how you want to control the lighting. Sounds simple, but it's really not. It really deserves a mega-thread of it's own. At least for me, it was a choice that was far more difficult, far more costly, and far harder to reverse than which controller to get (though I'm proud to say I'm sure I did make the right choice for my goals). Different people do different things, and it's often necessary to mix-and-match, and there's a lot of different circumstances. There's smart switches, 1 smart bulbs, smart switches with smart bulbs, control/touch screen panels, remote controls, and voice. And, each one can have varying features and styling. I'm a huge fan of Lutron Caseta and Pico, but they do have some downsides. And so do all the other methods and brands. So, first, imagine yourself in your smart home.... How do you picture yourself turning on the lights on and off? Where will the switches be? What will they do? What are you going to do with the existing switches? Will you want switches where there aren't any built-in? Many people answer "I'll just use voice". Wrong answer. Just take my word for it. Voice is an add-on feature; not a replacement for physical controls. (I have at least 10 Google Homes scattered throughout the house, and will be expanding on that - but for the most part, it's pretty rare for anyone in the house to use them. ) Personally, my ultimate answer is that I want the lights to turn on by themselves, at the level I want based on time and activity (using motion sensors and schedules, while accounting for prior and current actions). Unfortunately, that's not a complete answer for three reasons... 1) Motion sensors can be finicky and you'll want a backup, 2) Motion sensors aren't appropriate for all circumstances, and 3) Motion sensors throughout the entire house (and setting up the automation logic) is a large undertaking, and will take much time, effort and expense. I give a pro/con of some of the basic methods on my " review thread ", but... Ask questions. Imagine the different lighting scenarios you'll want, and the best to control them. Consider what you'll gain over "dumb" switches, and what you'll lose. Once you think you know what you want, research and post questions about whether you've missed anything, and what product(s) will get you there. [ What protocol are you going to use? ] One other thing that's suggested be decided early on is protocol. If you've done any research at all or spent anytime in the forums, you'll see ZigBee and Z-Wave mentioned a lot. First, I want to mention that WiFi is conspicuously absent that sentence. Despite the massive number of "smart" products on the market that use WiFi, it's not a good base protocol to use. Although it's fine for one-off solutions, like an appliance or one smart socket for the Christmas tree, there's too many drawbacks - from security issues to signal interference. I'm not going to go through all the pro/cons for WiFi, but in general avoid it. As to Zigbee or Z-Wave - many people will disagree with me, and maybe they're not wrong and I just don't know enough - but my stance is I don't care. I'd recommend getting a controller that supports both. There are differences between Zigbee and Z-Wave, but even when they matter, they're kinda a wash - benefits for downsides - without either side of the equation being all that important. I use both, and there's no major issue with having both. Both are mesh networks, meaning to increase range, all you need to do is add devices that can act as repeaters (as a general rule of thumb with a lot of exceptions - anything that plugs in). Hue light bulbs are Zigbee, and most bulb makers have followed suit (technically, a substandard of Zigbee call Zigbee Light Link, where most Zigbee devices use Zigbee Home Automation - ZLL bulbs are one of those exceptions for being a repeater, but there are exceptions to that exception and lighting deserves it's own thread). Xiaomi sensors are also Zigbee. Smart switches and outlets come in both, with maybe a slight bias towards Z-Wave. [ Do you really need a "hub"? ] A note on hubs. Many people (including myself) started out with "But I don't wanna hub! " (or "But I don't wannanother hub! ") Get over it. Although there's something to be said for simplicity, don't get hung up on whether something requires a hub! They don't build them just to make money... well, I mean, they do, but no one would buy them if they didn't have value. Personally, I actively use six hubs (Hubitat Elevation, Lutron Caseta, Hue, Pi 3B+, Arlo, and Fing), and that's down from my previous posting of this guide. That's not to say those hubs are right for everyone (again, see my review thread), and I'm definitely not saying to buy any hub without researching what features it adds, but do not cut off your nose to spite your face by avoiding product lines just because there's a hub! [ Where are you going to use it? ] (At home! It's home automation! Duh!! ) Presense... It's a huge issue for home automation. Maybe even the most important issue. So, just going to define a few concepts for your consideration. There's geopresense (aka "geofencing"). Most everyone is family with this in concept and in practice, and are perfectly well aware of it's limitiations. It can be used to determine, within some margin of error, if you're at home, but pretty much useless in saying which part of the home, and it can only track other people if they're willing to install an app. It can also be used for things like having left work, leaving an area (eg having home automation just know that you've gone on vacation), visiting your family/side b***h, etc. To determine if someone is in the actual house, or a specific room, you can use contact sensors, which indicates a door or window has been opened or closed. Obviously, this can't say who it was, or even if they're entering or exiting. Motion detectors... well, you know. Detect motion. There are some issues with them, such as sensitivity, polling rate, and false alarms (the vast majority of sensors see infrared, so heat sources will tend to throw them off). Still, they make for good lighting controls and such. With some careful planning, combining them with contact sensors and GPS, you can get a good idea of where people are in a house, and by extension, what they're doing. A few other "presense" types... There are pressure plates, vibration sensors, and beam sensors. Some of these are pretty uncommon, but if you're not adverse to DIY, they can on occasion be handy. For instance, a pressure sensor can tell if your car is parked, and a beam sensor can tell if the car has arrived. That is, a pressure plate can tell the difference between a car and a person, but is specific to where it's at. A beam sensor can see between any two points, but can't tell the difference between a car and your grandmother's corpse. Another option is BlueTooth. Using an active transmitter, you could identify specific people within a small-ish area, but still not good enough to pin-point a room/area. When combined with motion sensors, if people aren't in groups, you could get pretty close. As hinted at with most of the short-comings, the Holy Grail of a smart home is being able to customize the environment to suit the specific people in the room/area, and specifically to suit their activity. The only way to do that in a practical way within a home environment is through facial recognition cameras. Although it's technically feasible, at this time, it's simply not practical for the vast majority of home owners. [ How are you going to stop using it? ] Shit happens. Plan for it. Example one... My kid's dog likes to chew on my MagicCube and Pico remotes, which only control lights so no big deal, but if turning on a light while no one was home acted as a security alarm trigger, it's be a big problem. Example two... a minor bug in my automation code prevented lights from turning on or off - at all - and I couldn't stop right then to fix it. But I had an override in place. It's too easy to make a mistake, like having lights come on at 2am instead of 2pm, so put in overrides. Have options to disable routines. And use multi-point authentication systems for critical systems like alarms and locks. A couple mistakes can tank the SAF, if not actually put you in physical danger. Now on to the lists, but first a warning. Don't let them overwhelm you. The options with smart homes is long, but only the biggest dicks most dedicated [sorry, just jealous] do more than maybe a double handful of them. Devices: Smart lighting / smart switches Buttons Smart outlets (including high-Amp/appliance outlets) Power monitors (built into many, but not all, smart outlets) LED strip/accent lighting (strictly speaking, not necessarily "smart", but is way better with smartness) Touch panel screen(s) Voice control (Alexa, Google Home and/or Bixby) Motion sensors Tilt sensors (garage door, tactile buttons) Accelerometer/vibration sensor (door sensors, washer/dryer, theft deterrence, tactile buttons) Water leak sensors (leak alerts, plant care) Temp sensors (for AC zone control, house fan, stove monitor, refrigerator monitor) Humidity sensors (bathroom vent fans, basement monitor) Door/window contact and/or magnetometer sensors (good for closet lighting, home security and controlling HVAC) (Note: There are multi-purpose sensors that combine various of the above into one device) IR/laser beam sensors (don't know of any retail product, aside from wired garage door sensors) Pressure sensors (don't know of any retail product) Smart locks Smart thermostat Smart vents Security cameras Blinds/curtains Smoke/Carbon Monoxide alarms (with remote alerts) Sprinkler/irrigation/s controls (eg valves, solenoids, pumps, etc. ) Pool automation (Note: There's actually not much on the market for pools that aren't very pricey) Robot vacuums Pet/child toys (just being thorough.... :-) Automation ideas: Note: The true wonder and power of home automation is being able to join together multiple triggers with multiple events for multiple devices, such as creating whole-house scenes, combining lighting, alerts, tv/movie player, fireplace, water features, etc., etc. It's impossible to list every combination, but... please share what you've done:-) Single controls for multiple lights (eg overhead lights and lamps) Single controls for multiple lights doing different things (eg if overhead turns off, accent lighting turns on) Single controls for both lights and ceiling fan Single controls for multiple light functions (eg double-tap and long push) Remote controls for lights and ceiling fans (or anything else) Voice controls (just FYI, it's not as useful as you might think, unless you have it already and think it's super useful) Motion controlled switches (eg waving instead of pushing - especially good for the disabled) Porch light turns on when you arrive (accounting for time and/or ambient light level) Porch light turns on when you open the door, and stay on for X seconds/minutes Closet (or cabinet, crawl-space, etc. ) light turns on when you open the door, and turns off when you close it Lights come on at preset level Lights come on at level based on time (and/or color temperature "warmth", with color lights) Lights come on in nightlight mode at night (same as above, but deserves a separate bullet; deal with it) Outdoor lights timed to sunrise and sunset Lights come on at level based on weather (and/or color temperature "warmth", with color lights) Lights come on at level based on room/outside brightness (and/or color temperature "warmth", with color lights) Dim lights to preset level when tv is turned on Single button to turn on whole entertainment system Preset channel selection buttons (or auto-play movie from media server - Note: hacked Amazon Dash buttons are good for this, as are Xiaomi MagicCubes, with printed stickers) Preset pizza/Chinese delivery buttons (use with care if you have children, or the dog gets ahold of the button, etc. ) see bottom for a few button ideas Emergency button send text message, email, and/or sound alarm Color (or color flash) lights for weather (eg it's cold, or it will rain) Color flash lights for incoming phone calls, texts and/or emails by sender, keyword and/or number Color flash lights when household member arrives home (or gets near home) Voice alerts for when household member arrives home (or gets near home) Dim to off for lights (rather than abrupt change - this is pre-built into many systems, including Hue and Lutron switches) "Scene" control for lighting for movies, parties, reading, snuggle time, bed time, etc. (using color lights) Light colors "dance" to the music (Note: this only works in dorm rooms, "(wo)man-caves" and brothels) Turn off (or on) lights when you leave the house (or select lights when select people leave) Vacation mode lighting to simulate occupancy (or, better yet, lights always simulate occupancy when not home... and don't forget the tv) Combination locks Smart card locks Auto lock doors (eg X minutes after being unlocked) Lock the doors when you leave Unlock the doors when you arrive (I STRONGLY recommend dual-authentication, such as phone geofencing COMBINED WITH garage door opening - other authentication can be hidden buttons or motion sensors, key fobs, video facial recognition, and possibly your car) Change lock codes remotely Change lock codes automatically (eg a sequential "cipher") Set scenes based on different lock codes Set single use (or X number use) lock codes Schedule when lock codes will work (eg for house cleaner) Enable/disable lock codes entirely at certain hours (if keyless locks, make sure you have a way to bypass, such as by phone app) Send text alert (or color flash, sound, voice, etc. ) on lock code usage (eg kids getting home) Video doorbell Flash lights with doorbell ring Send text alert when door opens (or a light turns on, etc., possibly at certain times) (eg kids getting into shit they shouldn't) Door sensor alert for liquor cabinet or gun case (or toy chest, either child toys after bedtime or bedtime adult toys) Door sensor on shed and/or fence (with alerts) (credit Cobra) Stop light (or other parking-assistance) for inside garage Voice alert for child's door opening during scheduled bedtime (credit homeautomaton) Child's door sensor auto-shut-down of streaming media (credit homeautomaton) Baby monitor with alerts providing two-way voice Set open doors and/or windows left open to disable AC or enable whole-house fan (possibly with text, light or sound/voice alert) Voice alert for windows open when raining (credit to Cobra) Remote video monitoring (don't spy on your spouse, you perv! ) Security system triggered by vibration sensor "tags" (ie attached to a tv) Security system triggered if window is broken, by attaching a vibration sensor to it Security system triggered by light switches Security system triggered by motion sensors Layered security monitoring using all of the above combined with cameras, locks, and contact sensors, with light and/or audio sirens, voice warnings, text alerts, and hypothetically phone calls Simple, fast and multiple security alarm deactivation "secret" buttons (so no need to fumble around trying to remember and enter a number into the base station inevitably three rooms away that has a card next to it saying whether to push the star or pound sign while alarms are blaring in your ear) Trigger ceiling fans based on temperature Automate bathroom vent fans based on humidity Basement dehumidifier accounting for time (or presence) as well as humidity (that is, using different humidity thresholds based on other conditions) Select music to play when arrive home Select music playlist/channel based on who is home Autoplay music in rooms based on motion Select room music playlist/channel based on who in the room (would require in-home tracking, such as BT fobs or camera facial recognition) Select music to play for "scene" like reading, snuggle time, etc. Set volume and/or equalizer levels for "scene" like party, movie time, reading, etc. Smart gaming pieces (ie embedded acceleration/touch sensors; light/sound response; random dice/player pieces; etc. ) Blinds/curtains set to open/close on schedule (and/or by weather, and/or by "scene") Alert (text, light flash or sound) when mailbox is opened Swipe card lock on mail slot box Package delivery box keyed to parcel service (with alerts) Text/voice alert (etc. ) for leaks (toilets, sinks, washing machine, dishwasher, water heater, ice maker, aquariums, basement) Valve cutoff with leak Voice/sound alert for dryer/washer being completed Alert for clothesline dry based on moisture Voice/sound alert for stove preheat Schedule voice assistant to sing Happy Birthday (when birthday girl/boy is present) Coffee pot set to start with alarm clock Automatic/scheduled/controlled pet feeder and/or treat dispenser Provide alert if pet has not been fed, or provide indication if pet has already been fed Aquarium temperature alerts Aquarium or other light cycling through colors and brightness all day Aquarium cloud shadow or lightning effects by weather (best with addressable LEDs) Aquarium auto-filling by level (using a water sensor - be sure to have backups in place for catastrophic leaks! ) Pool auto-filling by level (using a float with a contact sensor - be sure to have backups in place for catastrophic failure! ) Pool pump timer (possibly accounting for temperature and/or rain) Water heater timer (allowing weekends, holidays, etc., as opposed to "dumb" timers) Water heater always on when home (perhaps combined with timer - "if home AND between X and Y o'clock" or "if home OR between X and Y oclock") Water heater turns on when temperature rapidly drops (eg regardless of schedule, turn it on if actually used) Have bathtub temperature and/or level preset with auto-shutoff (and alert when full) No-touch toilet flushing and/or sink faucets Carbon monoxide levels trigger whole house and/or ceiling fans (and/or cut off furnace, open garage door, vent fans, alerts/alarm) Monitor power usage of outlets Fancy holiday lighting and patterns Audio broadcasts (eg "Dinner time", "Bed time", "Take your medication", singing Happy Birthday, etc. - can be combined with buttons) Audio broadcasts/text alerts for maintenance (eg AC filter, car registration renewal) Disable/enable WiFi/internet access to devices by schedule or other event (eg disable kids' phone at "Dinner time", could be combined alert mentioned above) Text alert for power outage Schedule sprinklers/irrigation Activate sprinklers/irrigation based on temperature and/or soil moisture Motion based animal deterrence (eg alarm or activate robotic scarecrow) Secret buttons (eg motion sensor in a book to retract a wall revealing a massive bunker filled with guns, with optional bunker filled with guns) Fun buttons doing... whatever (like squishy toys, the Big Red Button, or the internet box - note: do not put a button on your shoe, because that's stupid) If you've made it all the way here, lemme know if you want something closer to a step-by-step instructions of getting a "smart home" using a Hubitat. I don't like telling people "do this" when there are so many different ways, and I'm nowhere near done with my way, but with enough interest I might be convinced. 1 Disclaimer: Just FYI, "switch", "remote" and "controller" can have varying meanings that differ between general usage, electrical devices, and in home automation. I'm using a generic, non-technical, meanings.

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